Saturday, July 3, 2010

This is How I'm Feeling Today...

I'm a strong girl. I do things alone. A lot. I don't burden my friends with my issues. I just deal with them. I always assumed that I was doing people a favor for being like this. Giving them room to breath and deal with the things going on in their own lives. But, it has been brought to my attention a lot lately that people who are closest to me find this terribly annoying. Bordering on offensive. I let the walls down just enough to give them a peek at the wreckage inside then put them right back up again. And leave them feeling stressed and helpless.

Well, I have decided to make a concerted effort to let people in. To let the walls come all the way down and say this is who I am and I can't do this alone. To learn to love again. It scares me a lot. I don't do vulnerable. It goes against everything I am. But, being strong all the time hasn't really been working out for me. I'm tired. I'm ready to feel fulfilled again. I know this means that I need to make some changes in my life. Let go of some old vices. And be willing to open myself up and embrace the things that are good in my life now. No matter how frightening they may be.

Some things are worth the risk. So, here's to today...


Cleopatra Jones said...

Good. Hell.

It's true. Ya don't do vulnerable, but it's not fair to let people see the wreckage and then take off. I've always kinda accepted it because you are strong. And I love you. I get it because I'm the same wayto a lesser degree. Raised to believe that people don't really care about your problems, they've got their own to worry about and you need to handle them on your own.

You, kind friend, have made an epiphany. And I like those. And diamonds. They're cool too.

Cleopatra Jones said...

And stop making me stress. It makes wanna eat chocolate.

That is all.

For now.

Ginger Snaps said...

Diamonds are nice. I need to get me more of those. Big ones. Just sayin..

Sorry I make you stress. I always come out okay. Right?

One more thing...Love your face.

Ginger Snaps said...

Also, it's a great song, isn't it? Love it.

Ginger Snaps said...

Also, just curious, why must epiphanies come at 3 am? I'm tired girl. Dang.

Arkive said...

Walls are for sucks. But so is hurt. While it can be annoying, I think we've all gone through or are sitting in a wall phase of our own. You gotta protect yourself too. That said, if you're opening the doors up, that makes us all happy. We all love Ging, especially unfettered Ging :)

Giant diamonds huh? I'm noticing a recurring theme here.

Ginger Snaps said...

Hmmm...Unfettered ging can lead to frightening things. I would just like to reiterate that prison orange would not do good things for my complexion.

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And Cleo started it. I just agreed with her.

Arkive said...

You would never go to jail. I'd never let that happen to you. And even if I couldn't take the rap for you, Brenda would bust you out before sun down.

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