I'm thinking I may have jumped the gun a little. I do that occasionally. It's a fault of mine. One of many, I might add. But among many faults are a lot of good things. Like the ability to love unconditionally and without judgment. And to accept people for who they are and see beyond flaws. And give of myself without any expectations of anything in return.
Because of these things I don't get a lot of middle ground. Either people accept and become close to me or they are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and looking for ways to undermine my intentions. But I never ever have to question who my true friends are. The people that I number among friends, though may be few, would defend me to the death. Even if they knew I was dead wrong. That is an amazing feeling.
As for the others, well, here is something that I have learned. You can't change how people feel about you. Either they will accept your words and actions as true or they won't. And you can try and try and try, but if they have it in their minds that you are a bad person, there is nothing you will ever do or say to change that. So, you can either let that rule you and eat you alive, or you can find a way to make peace with it. I recommend the latter. It's the only way you will ever find true happiness. If you can find peace within yourself then there is nothing that anyone can do or say to take that away. Guilt is for sucks. So is hate and anger and bitterness. Let it go.
With that said...Here is my new 2010 theme song.
When people are unhappy it's so much easier to place the blame elsewhere than to look inside and see where the true ugliness lies. There will always be another offense in their eyes. But as long as you recognize the goodness in yourself, nothing they do or say can touch you.
Other Fish in the Sea...
13 years ago
15 comments:
Awwww...... my Gingie-pooh is growing up!
Well said. I love it. We are certainly cut from the same cloth.
This is a great message for me right now. I know it's good for you too.
I have struggled all my life with tis strong personality that most peeps do NOT get. As I have gotten more mature, I realize that while I do have faults, the people who can't handle me have their own issues. It's rarely my fault. Same goes for you. You are loving and good. Deep down good. If people can't take it- be on your way.
I am so comfy with myself that I am not even gonna fix the grammatical errors in my response.
TAKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, we are. That's why we get along so well. I know if I say something dumb as HELL, you're gonna be like 'Yup, that's right.' And when you get to the car you're gonna say...'that was the stupidest thing that has ever come out of your mouth. 'And I'm gonna be like 'I know, right?' I'm having a strange sense of deja-vu right now. Weird.
But what it boils down too is this...some peeps just ain't ready for this jelly. So bite me. It's who I am. I'm not pretentious and phoney and holier than thou and I'm not going to act that way to make you feel comfortable. Get an friggin' life. Stop trying to bring other people down. This is the longest comment in history.
Not quite the longest, but certainly one of the most profound.
WERD. UP. HOMIE.
Pretty sure that exact conversation has taken place one more than one occasion....
True, true, true! One of the things I HAD to learn was that I couldn't blame my husband for me being unhappy and depressed. It was on ME for that. I'm the one who sat at home eating, doing nothing all day, and didn't have any friends. I resented him big time...and eventually, he resented me cuz I treated him like crap for years. I've lived it.
Also, know that you can always count me as a friend! I know its been years but you are the SAME Stacy I knew then. Good gosh, there were things only YOU knew way back when and that's because you are a great person and are completely trustworthy!
I totally want to dye my hair that color. What do ya think?
Not sure that color would work with your skin tone, honey.
It is kinda hawt though.
Yeah...I can't pull off prison orange. I've said it a thousand times. I'm an autumn. It's why I could never be a Broncos fan. I just don't look good in the paraphernalia. :)
Knowing yourself is the second biggest challenge most people will face. Staying true to that is the first. By the looks of it you have a leg up on most. <3
Thanks Toni...Time doesn't dwindle true friendships. Cleo and I are a perfect example of that.
And Jeff...You totally win the make Stacy smile contest today. You actually did it at 9:28 am when you told me that Cinnamon Toast Crunch was your favorite cereal. I'm a simple woman. I get pleasure from simple things. :)
Loved this post, Stace. So, even though I've only hung out with your for maybe say, half a day, you made me feel super comfortable and were so easy to talk to and so much fun to be around. You were you and you were REAL and that is one thing that I respect more than anything. And seriously, I love you for that :)
Damn. I was logged in under Scott... this is Mandi... :)
I was just freakin' out for a second Mands. I was like who the hell is this scott person and why don't I remember hanging out with him. LOL.
"Guilt is for sucks" is my new motto Gingie.
So, here's what I've learned...I'm sort of full of learning...guilt is probably one of the most debilitating things on the planet. It keeps you from progression. It keeps you from happiness. It binds you to people who don't necessarily have your best interests at heart. It's selfish and self serving. It seriously robs you of life. Let it go. Be free. The end.
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